i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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