Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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