imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
