Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
