Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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