she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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