We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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