my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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