yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
