Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
