She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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