Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
