Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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