Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
