She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
