so let's talk penis.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
