Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
