were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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