Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
