Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am midnight drunk by noon
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
