Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
