I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
