well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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