We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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