My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Screwed.edu
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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