Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
