Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
