i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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