he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
