I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
