arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
