I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
