susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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