Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
