Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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