we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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