it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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