he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
