sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
