No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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