I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
