But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
