Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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