Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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