if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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