My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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