New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
