She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I touched a dick in church today
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
