Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize