So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
