pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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