You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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