I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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