i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
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