At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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