I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i think i have herpe
just one?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
