did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
